We Interrupt This Program

   I purchased a domain and am busy setting up a whole new blog look!  Okay... So Hubby is busy setting up my whole new blog look LOL....

I am hoping to launch it Monday! 

Childrens Hospital Day Two

 Forgive the slight delay. Life got a little crazy and sometimes I need to step away from blogging about things and gather my thoughts, and emotions. We learned about a new health issue while we were here, which sent me spiraling a bit. 

First things first. So after keeping her up all night, they came in to do these tests that can help trigger seizure activity.   

One is blowing this pinwheel.... 

Next is this strobe light.....

Unfortunately the test didn't work as good as it should because due to a series of errors, they didn't come do the tests until almost 2pm and she had been asleep for hours. 

( Yes, super frustrating ) 

Then after this its just sitting... lots of sitting. 

Thankfully she had some good moments. 

They have a thing where people can email messages and they print them out and bring them in. She was so excited to read all of the sweet messages.

She got a Hedgehog Beanie baby ( She LOVES Hedgehogs ) 

I took a break from the room for a few minutes to go eat lunch at the Parents room

A group of awesome boys came from Idaho with lunch ( there were a bunch of other sides too #stupiddiet lol ) . They also brought a ton of snacks and drinks , fresh fruit and other things from the wish list for one of the boys Eagle Scout Project   

One of her big sisters came to hang out with her :) 

Dad came and did some science with her using this cool snap circuit kit I found! 

The hospital plays games every day. For the kids that cannot leave their room, they broadcast it on the TV. She absolutely loved this! 

Then if you get BINGO you call and they bring you prizes! 

So overall for her it was a pretty good day!

For me.... thats another story... For tomorrow...

Day One Of Our Stay ....

    They got us to her room, then the nurses come in to do vitals. They get her set up in her bed , then EEG comes in to place the electrodes, and set up the camera and other equipment. 

   Then the Dr came in to discuss everything that they would be doing, and to see if we had any questions.  The plan was for sleep deprivation all night, then to do testing in the morning to see if they could trigger a seizure...

  Then there is just the waiting... and sitting... Thankfully hubby was here during this to help entertain her.  They watched a movie, then they did a craft.....

They brought in SLIME! It was really cool how they had it all separated and all she had to do was mix it. 

They brought in her room service menu LOL. For a kid with allergy restrictions this was a really awesome menu! They had a great selection included smoothies! She ate a lot of salmon and shrimp during the week! lol 

After we got her set up with dinner we went to the Ronald McDonald parents room to register to use it during the week.  They have a entire house off site for families that are from out of town to stay at, but at the hospital they have a beautiful place also. It has what looks like a beautiful family room with a fireplace, bookshelves,  there is a computer area , showers, washer and dryer, and a couple of bedrooms that you can use to nap in for up to 2 hours at a time.  They also have personal hygiene items and other supplies that they hand out.

We had got there at dinner time, and they have a program where people and business can sign up to bring in meals. ( We will be calling next week for a time to give back and bring in a meal ) 

A family had made chili and chips. It was an incredibly welcome sight as the fact that we were admitted to the children's hospital for the week set in, and emotions hit....

We went back to her room, her and Daddy played a video game ( every room has an xbox, and they have a movie and game library ) so I could nap before I set in for a long night of keeping her awake. 

Daddy left at 9pm, and our first night begin....

More tomorrow ...

Life in The Childrens Hospital

This week finds us in the Neuro Trauma Unit at the local children's hospital.  Hippy Kid has had seizures for many years ( possibly since birth ) and has a diagnosis of focal seizures as well as generalized tonic clonic.  She has damage to the gray and white matter of her brain from lack of oxygen at birth , so they believe that is what causes her epilepsy.

So after trying 4 different medication to control her seizures, the last giving her Steven Johnson's Syndrome ( picture's below ) we are trying to get approval for a medical marijuana card, so we can see if that will help control them. 

As you can see SJS is horrible :(  It created blisters all in her mouth so she couldn't eat. ) . It took months to clear up and we had several trips to the ER through it. 

So with that now comes an in patient stay to monitor her seizures. They are trying to find all the triggers, and also trigger seizures so they can capture them to submit to the state for approval for a MMJ card.... This is ridiculous honestly. But we don't want to have to move states and become what they call " medical refugees " just to be able to give our child the chance to try plant oil to see if we can control her seizures without the side effects of pharma meds.  

So here I sit in the Ronald McDonald house parents room, typing this... I am thankful for the quiet space to sit and take a breath away from the beeping of the monitors and the bustle of the neuro unit floor. 

I will do daily posts showing what life is like here for her, and for me as her mom. 

Much Love,

Rhythm, Holding the space, Inner work.... OH MY!!! ( Part Two )

Okay where was I ?..... yes! Holding the space!  Literally to me this this is the most important part of my day...errrrr.....life. Because even if our rhythm falls to heck, as long as I am holding the space, chaos seems to stay at bay.... Well Kelly, WHAT THE HECK IS HOLDING THE SPACE?! you ask?
Well.... for me, it means that I am setting the tone for our home, or playdate, or whatever space we are in.... During playdates, I am engaged with my children, and I am aware of what is going on.... Do I want to not pay attention and talk to the other Moms at the park for just a small taste of social interaction with another adult? HECK YES! Is me ignoring my children as they torment little Johnny or be tormented by little Jenny going to be beneficial to my children... HECK NO! lol ..... Please remember , this is a season of life. Before you know it, they will be running out the door to hop into little Johnnys car, or picking up little Jenny to go to the movies and you will not be there to hold the space... So be present NOW....

Does that mean we don't get frustrated, or angry? Nope. It just means that we as adults, be aware and be responsible of the energy we are bringing into the space, and curb our own tantrums, so that we can prevent theirs.

Melisa Neilson from WALDORF ESSENTIALS   has the most fabulous podcast on holding the space... You can listen to that free here.... PODCAST


When you are present and holding the space, it brings comfort to your children... It shows them you are present with them, and that you are keeping their space safe and secure.....

Rhythm, Holding the space, Inner work.... OH MY!!!

Rhythm,  Holding the space, Inner work.... OH MY!!!

These can be some of the scariest words known to a Waldorf Mom! I see so many Moms start to get nervous and try to tell me all the excuses of why they can not accomplish these things in their home...
I am here to not only promise you that you can, but I will give you some tips to show you how! 

First things first..... Today we will talk about ..... RHYTHM

As Waldorf homeschoolers we use THIS CHART  ... It helps me to keep to a daily rhythm , which keeps the flow of our day, and helps the kids know what to expect, in turn helps foster security I believe.  

Having a daily rhythm is not about being super structured and timers going off every 30 minutes. It's about having a general idea of what will happen each day and building off of that.  Rhythm is really about balance, finding ways to breathe through the day,finding ways to be calm and present and be attentively aware to our lives and those of our children. 

Let's start with the daily color.  This can be used in many ways to help our children connect to the day. I went to Hobby Lobby and bought their solid color t shirts, which is a huge help in stopping any clothing "battles" that perhaps you may have with your kids.  You can also dye or purchase cloth napkins with the colors. Kids are excited to get out that days color and help set the table! 

Next is grain of the day. We deal with food allergies, so my chart will look different from someone who uses wheat in their cooking.  You can set up a pinterest page, or make a notebook of different recipes to use through the week. I have often done batch cooking, and froze muffins, and breads, and prepped puddings and other items for the week, so it easy to grab as we go about our days. 

Last on ours is scent of the day. Not everyone has this. Hippie Kid is in LOVE with incense. So it is her job to light the matching scent to the day each morning.  I noticed that little man really notices this as I have heard him say " It smells like clove, it must be Tuesday! "  Scents have a strong memory base in our brain, and can bring us back to another time and place. I love thinking that one day, my children will be out somewhere as adults, and a scent will trigger them back to a peaceful time in our home. 

I have linked the printable chart I used to make ours up where it says " THIS CHART" ... Have fun with it! Make it yours! Mine is simply an example and is what works for my family. Waldorf is not about stressing yourself out over pretty Pinterest pictures and Mommy blogs.. ( Trust me I have done that lol )  Waldorf is finding beauty and joy in your life, about learning where your children are in their journey , and guiding them along.....

Life as a " Therapeutic Parent " Part Two

My journey continues with the diagnosis of Yaya, who is actually our 4th born child.  This shows how different autism presents in people.  We had been cruising along thinking everything was fabulous... Yaya  was the perfect baby. She slept over 12 hours a night starting at 5 weeks, she never cried. As a toddler she was sweet and kind. She started talking in full sentences ( like an adult ) at 18 months.  She had some quirky stuff that we just thought was funny. Like her obsession with pillow fuzz. She would work to make a hole and pull the stuffing out and rub it on her nose. Things like that....

 So one day one of Captian's support team people were over the house. Yaya was lining up her books on the floor. He noticed and asked when she was diagnosed. I was floored! I asked him " what are you talking about " in my most irritated Mom voice.  He waited until she walked back into her room for more books and then slightly moved one she had already laid out... She came back out and FREAKED.. I had not realized how much of a OCD issue she had until this moment.  We thought she was just tidy and organized... yes at 3.. lol

 So I set up an appointment with our developmental pediatrician , who sent us to a child psychologist , she then diagnosed her with Aspergers Syndrome...

  This is the part where I should mention that in-between these two getting diagnosed, my husband was also diagnosed on the spectrum.  This happened because as we are reading about autism he keeps saying " well thats not odd, I do that "  many , many times. He had been misdiagnosed his entire life. From ADHD, to OCD. He finally now has an answer. It didn't change who he is. But it was an HUGE help in helping him ( and me ) understand why he does some of the things that he does.

 So now we are two for two... Life is rolling along, we have a excellent support team and service in place... Then we find out that hippy kid will be joining our family.

 My pregnancy is cruising along well... and by well I mean I have morning sickness ( WHY do they call it that... It lasted all freaking day! )  anyhoo... I am so sick 24 hours a day.  We are looking forward to her due date of Nov 14th... June 25th is hubbys birthday so we go out for breakfast and I come home to nap... I am woken up by hubby to tell me something that will devastate me in ways I am still dealing with....  My Mom died....

  She was only 52. She had a heart arrhythmia they told us and she just died... Woke up, walked across her bedroom and died...  We lived in another state, so we packed the car and drove as fast as we could to be with my little sister ( who was 16 at the time ) and to take care of everything. We didn't plan on staying long, but a series of events lead us to decide to move to help care for my sister who was starting her senior year of high school.  Exactly one month after my Moms funeral, we took the kids to the Utah county fair to get our minds off everything.  We walked in, and purchased tickets for some rides... We ended up on the hay wagon ride first... to make a very long story short, something happened with the ride and we were forced to jump off at about 35 MPH. I ended up landing on my butt in the middle of the road while I held Captain who was 4 at the time. After being checked out at the hospital, I seemed pretty okay considering... Little did we realize

  So time continues to click by.  Hubby comments how I am not very big with this pregnancy. I have of course noticed that also. I am thinking, well thats actually awesome!  I go in for my 32 week check up... something is wrong.. very wrong... My blood pressure is 183/110... They admit me immediately.  They start doing some tests and we wait...  While I am sitting there, a crew of people come in and start rushing around.. The Dr explains that they cannot find a heartbeat and they believe hippy kid will be born asleep and need to do an emergency c section immediately as my BP is out of control... I don't even have time to process it. As they are rushing me into surgery, I apparently started to have seizures and have no memory of anything...

 I wake up and think I am dead.. I am confused because heaven doesnt look like I expected. Then I am super confused to see my husband and children there... Hubby explains that I am not dead, but I am on a whole lot of pain meds... He also tells me how they were able to revive hippy kid...

 Hippy kid was born totally blue and listless... almost 12 years later its still very hard to read her paperwork and the description of all of this... After a team of angels worked on her, she went from a 1 on the apgar to an 8 in fie minutes... She is truly our miracle baby... She was a whopping 2lbs 6oz at birth. She only did 6 weeks in the NICU and came home right at 4lbs... She is a fighter.. she is still a fighter....

  Its been a long road but each year gets better. The ER trips are less frequent, and the hospital stays are becoming a fuzzy memory... Hippy kids current diagnosis are ASD ( notice a trend. We are 3 for 3 ) ,  Epilepsy, and Hypertonia.  Her past diagnosis are many.. Like I said.. She is a fighter!

 The next part of this story... " Foster care, PICA, attachment disorders , oh my!"

Friday Giveaway!!!

Next week is Candlemas  ( you can read about it HERE )

  This is one of our favorite holidays and we always invite friends over to make beeswax candles.
In honor of that, I thought I would give away your very own candle making kit!  This kit includes:

• This all-inclusive kit includes 9 beeswax sheets that measure 8" x 4" in a crayon box of colors.
• 
  
• The candles burn clean and are environmentally friendly with a flame life of 45 minutes each. So forget about store-bought candles, go custom and make your own!
• 
  
• Each sheet will make 5 candles, simply cut the sheets into 1 1/2” x 4" strips and you're ready to roll. Step-by-step instructions are included, however, exercise your imagination and create something unique!

  Find all the information on how to enter BY CLICKING HERE

Life As A Therapeutic Parent ( Part One )

     In high school they made us take those tests where it tells you what career you would be best suited for... My scores told me I would be best fit to be 3 things..
1.) A teacher
2.) A nurse
3.) A social worker

All great careers... What I didn't know is that I would have all those jobs... in my home.... unpaid... LOL.. Okay well not unpaid. Being a Mom comes with its own rewards right?

So I became a Mom for the first time at 17, the second time, at 19, then a third time at 21...  Somehow I was blessed with these awesome little people that were pretty mellow and didn't give me a hard time.. OR I was young and full of energy and so busy as a single Mom of three kids I didn't notice lol.

Thennnnn we had a 4th, then we had a 5th.... Oh the 5th... Enter the "captain" ...  He entered this world in chaos with a emergency c section and kept on going.... He cried ALL THE FREAKING TIME... People would ask me what was wrong with him.. Like I had any idea! All I know is I was so grateful he was not my first! One because I wouldn't have had anymore lol and two because I would have blamed myself for being a horrible Mother that couldn't calm her child down.  So time dragged on with the baby that never slept and cried all the time, and I kept telling our pediatrician that something was wrong, and he would tell me he was just fussy.. then one day at 22 months he was so angry and was kicking the front door and almost ripped his toenail off. Instead of screaming in pain, he sat down and tried to pull it out the rest of the way! Okay so gross right?!  So the night before I had met a Mom in an AOL "big family " group ( who remembers AOL groups? ) She had twins with autism. My knowledge was " Rain man" so I read some stuff on the internet about it... Then I read the checklist and thought OMG THATS MY KID!  So we went to the Dr where he fixed his toe and I handed him the checklist I had printed out and marked up... This was 2002/2003 where autism wasn't known about like it is today... He agreed we needed to have him evaluated, and right before his 2nd birthday he was diagnosed " classically autistic " ... I was just happy to have some kind of answer. I am a "fixer"..  A diagnosis gave me somewhere to start on our journey of how to help him...

So we started with services. Thankfully we were in a state that had amazing services and we had one on one , in home, weekly early intervention, Speech, and Occupational Therapy.  Things were slow at first but we were learning how to understand his needs better and learned some signs, and started using a PEC card system. This helped with the screaming as he was now able to communicate his needs. We had finally accepted he would probably never talk, but one day at 4 years old as I sat rocking him he started singing and then just kept going from there... Do not ever doubt miracles can happen... I read every book, took every training, and taught myself everything I could to work with him at home. All before Pinterest! lol

Time has continued to click by and he is now 16.. WHAT?! So crazy!  Most people do not realize that he is autistic, he is FAR from his original diagnosis, and some days we still see that little boy struggling inside. But overall his progress is nothing short of absolutely amazing....

Next week in part 2,  Yaya's diagnosis, and our new journey into medically fragile parenting with Hippie kid....

Who I am and Why I Believe ( a bit of a ramble )

    I have had a lot of things on my mind lately, and a lot of chances recently to share with various people as to why I joined the Church I did, and why I believe as I do. I thought maybe if I blogged about it I could accomplish 2 things.. 1.) I could sort out all the billions of thoughts in my head about my past and what brought to where I am today, and 2.) I could direct people here next time it came up so I don't have to stand there trying to explain 45 years of my life in some crazy 5 minute rush of what sounds like nonsense :) 
I will attempt to explain it without too much rambling LOL

The Basics:
I am Kelly,
Wife to 1,
Mom to 8.
I am a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as of almost 15 years ago.

Slightly more detail :)

6 of my children our biologically mine, 3 with my husband.

Two came to us from a family member at ages 2 and 5.  Both have suffered abuse and drug exposure. These is not family members I was close to. I had never even seen pictures of these children before they came to our home.

I was a teenage Mother. Twice in a sense as I gave birth at 17 and 19.

I was not raised in any religion, and was never taught about God or Jesus Christ.


And probably more information then you wanted to know :)

I survived a suicide attempt at the age of 16, barely.

I grew up in domestic violence.

I used to work in the "adult entertainment industry" ( No I did not make movies)

I have struggled with drugs and alcohol since I was 12.

So with those things out there now I want to talk about how I spent my life searching for something to fill the empty void in my heart. Starting very young I reached out and threw myself into full force anything that I thought would make me feel good. Wether it be drugs, alcohol, boys, etc.
I craved something that would take away the emptiness and make me feel good even if it just be for a few moments. Sadly looking back now the damage I caused to myself and others living like this is heartbreaking. Because all I really did was make life worse for myself and caused myself more heartache. Someone once posted the statement on their Facebook status " Heaven or Hell. Hate or Anger"  My reply.. " I have been to Hell, and I know hate and anger, none of these are what you want to have" My heart is so sad when I see things like this on kids Facebook or Instagram pages. I know what it feels like to be that lost teenager, to wonder why is everything so bad, so hard, not fair. To have the people that are suppose to love and protect you, fail you. To feel like life isn't worth it, and neither are you.

  I spent my teen and early adult years running. I was always running from something. When really I was only running from myself. My own pain, and instead of searching out something good, the bad things I brought in created more pain. I thank God everyday that when I was 24 I met someone amazing. He was just a friend of my brothers. 21 years old. Quiet, shy, kind. The complete opposite of me :) We quickly fell in love, moved in together , had a beautiful daughter, then married. She was followed by a son. We were happy, I was happy. But not completely, something was missing. Through a series of events we were both lead to learn about the Mormon church. The more I learned, the better I felt. Then being baptized, and changing my life around I finally felt complete. Over the past 15 years I have still had a lot of trials, life has been FAR from perfect. But knowing that there is someone watching over me, cheering me on to do good, loving me even when I don't love myself. Makes everything easier to deal with somehow....

             

And I'm Back.....

    " The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry "   LOL Isn't that the truth!  That Dad and I ended up on a 4.5 day trip to Las Vegas. We had planned it around tickets for an event, then that event was cancelled and since I like to pre pay for things to get the best deal ( I didn't get the insurance since they hadn't cancelled ever since 2011, so why would I think they would now!  Lesson Learned! )  I planned on getting caught up while we were there but again we go back to the best laid plans. 

  I have pulled a winner for the chocolate giveaway though! Congrats to Morgan Black !  Please contact me and I will get you your chocolate :) 


 So I will see you tomorrow when I am back tomorrow to my blog post schedule! 

    

Its My First Giveaway!!!!

So I am constantly telling Moms about giving yourself a time out. Often I talk about hiding in the closet for 5 minutes, enjoying a piece of GREAT chocolate, resetting myself, then coming back to handle life.  Well now you can take that advice with my favorite chocolate in the whole world!

This company is local to me and simply AMAZING! I found them at the farmer market one day and pretty much blew all my produce money on chocolate... #Dontevenregretit  lol

Check them out here! http://www.solsticechocolate.com/


So here's your chance to win your choice of flavor!

Follow this link.. Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy! CLICK TO ENTER HERE


Good Luck! Winner will be announced next Friday!

Panic Attacks, Therapy, and Codependent?

Thursdays topic is "Therapeutic Skill" ... This is actually a post from April, 2009, but I figured its always good to start from the beginning, so I am going to use this previous writing... It is so weird to look back and think of all the things that have happened between this moment until now. Its been a hard road with some MAJOR events, but this moment has helped me so very much. To understand myself a little better. I am a "fixer".  Well its really hard to fix something if you don't know what it is you are dealing with.  I now use mindfulness to deal with my panic attacks about 99% of the time. I am also currently doing EMDR therapy. ( Which I will talk more about in future posts )




I have panic attacks. As did my Grandfather, Mother, and also does my brother. I come from a very shallow gene pool of "anxious" people apparently.

I didn't have panic attacks until within 3 months, I lost my Mother suddenly, almost had my family wiped out in a "freak hay wagon accident", then followed up by having a 2 1/2 lb daughter in which we both almost died in delivery. Plus sprinkle in dealing with drunken rages from my step father, and giving up almost everything I own, and TA DA, you get one very anxious Mommy.

So I was cruising along, they were getting better, my Dr gave me some low dose xanex, a bottle would last months. Then BAM! Bring on a mentally disturbed kid, CPS in my house, court dates, and you get REALLY anxious Mommy. The Mommy that eats xanex like pez, and is starting to develop angoraphobia. So very nice Daddy makes Mommy go see a professional. ( Mommy would never do this on her own. BTW, I seek out help for others, not myself)

So I lucked out and got this SUPER awesome lady named Noelle. She is an adoptive Mommy, knows about CPS, anxiety, and then proceeds to tell me that I am codependent. Ummm EXCUSE ME LADY!. I am dependent on NO ONE! It is "I" that helps everyone else out. You need something, you call me. I will sign up for anything if I think I can help. So I go home and find my friend GOOGLE, and look up codependent, so during my next visit to Noelle I can tell her all the ways she is DEAD WRONG.

Hmmmm, imagine my surprise when I start reading about MYSELF. So I forward it to my BFF, and my Hubby. Same reply. Yep that's you.

So I go back, admit she was right, and spill my guts. She gives me a SUPER AWESOME book to read. I feel great for about a day. Then it hits me. WHO AM I???? If I am not the one that helps everyone, and solves every ones problems. Then exactly what is my place in life? So that's where I am at now. Trying to figure out who I am. Learning that it is okay for ME to have feelings. I have ALOT to process. I have anger I have held onto because for me, it is easier to be angry, then to be hurt, or sad. Anger is a "safe" feeling for me. But I am tired of being angry. Anger wears you out. It sucks life from you.

So I here I am , putting this here for everyone to read. Not sure why. Maybe it's so those of you that know me, can understand I have some "stuff" going on. And while I love you, I am trying to learn who I am right now, and may not be as "available" as I was in the past. And maybe for those of you that don't know me, maybe you know what I am feeling? Maybe you can offer advice, or a word of support.

It is very hard for me to fall off my own "weird" pedestal. For years I have sat in judgement of others, "why don't they?" "Well if it was me" "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?"
And at the same time having no self worth. Never feeling good enough in any way shape or form.

So here I go on a new journey of self discovery. I am sure the road is rocky, but I hear the final destination is wonderful.

And for those of you that dont know here is a description of codependent:

Symptoms of codependence may include controlling behavior, distrust, perfectionism, avoidance of feelings, problems with intimacy, excessive caretaking, hypervigilance, or physical illness related to stress.[3] Codependence is often accompanied by clinical depression, as the codependent person succumbs to feelings of frustration or sadness over his or her inability to improve the situation.[4] Codependency advocates claim that a codependent may feel shame about, or try to change, his or her most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with those of another person.

Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying "no" to any requests made of them.

Codependency causes internal struggles with the opinions of others. Codependents may make decisions based on what they think other people want them to do. While they may believe that their motive for helping people is compassion, in reality they are doing it because they want love or approval

Codependency can also cause struggles in the area of time management. Codependents may feel they never have enough time to fulfill all of their commitments because they have made too many. The most important commitments and relationships are often neglected because they are too busy helping other people, participating in multiple activities, and running from one event to another throughout the week. This also relates to their inability to say "no" when asked to volunteer, attend a function, or help a friend. The idea of not volunteering, not helping or not attending is unthinkable. They may believe they are not being responsible, not being a good friend, or not being a good person if they refuse any requests. However, many of those situations and relationships leave them feeling hurt, angry, or resentful.

A Kinda Long but Informative Post on Waldorf Education

About 12 years ago we started our homeschool journey in a different direction. In the far past ( this is our 21st year as a homeschool family )  we used text books, worksheets, timed skills tests, computer learning games, and videos.
None of us seemed super excited about learning ( or teaching ) and every day dragged on it was beginning to feel like.

Years ago I came across some information about a Waldorf charter school that was where we lived. And so I looked into Waldorf education. Loved the majority of what I read, so we toured the school. LOVED the school. But the school was far, and even though a charter school, fees are pretty pricey. So that year I spent the summer drowning myself in learning all I can about teaching my children the "waldorf way." I have had so many people ask me "just what the heck are we doing" LOL. So here is a very long description of what it is we are doing now during the day.

I will start adding pictures of our day, and our work next week :) You can see the actual curriculum we use through this link  Waldorf Essentials


( All info is taken from http://www.waldorfanswers.org/ )

The best overall statement on what is unique about Waldorf education is to be found in the stated goals of the schooling: "to produce individuals who are able, in and of themselves, to impart meaning to their lives".

The aim of Waldorf schooling is to educate the whole child, "head, heart and hands". The curriculum is as broad as time will allow, and balances academics subjects with artistic and practical activities.

Waldorf teachers are dedicated to creating a genuine love of learning within each child. By freely using arts and activities in the service of teaching academics, an internal motivation to learn is developed in the students, doing away with the need for competitive testing and grading.

Some distinctive features of Waldorf education include the following:

Academics are de-emphasized in the early years of schooling. There is no academic content in the Waldorf kindergarten experience (although there is a good deal of cultivation of pre-academic skills), and minimal academics in first grade. Literacy readiness begins in kindergarten with formal reading instruction beginning in grade one. Most children are reading independently by the middle or end of second grade.
During the elementary school years (grades 1-8) the students have a class (or "main lesson") teacher. The ideal and goal is that the class teacher stays with the same class for the entire eight years of elementary school. This, however, is not always the case, for many different reasons, one being the high demand this puts on the versatility of the teacher.
Certain activities which are often considered "frills" at mainstream schools are central at Waldorf schools: art, music, gardening, and foreign languages (usually two in elementary grades), to name a few. In the younger grades, all subjects are introduced through artistic mediums, use the children respond better to this medium than to dry lecturing and rote learning. All children learn to play recorder and to knit.
There are no "textbooks" as such in the first through fifth grades. All children have "main lesson books", which are their own workbooks which they fill in during the course of the year. They essentially produce their own "textbooks" which record their experiences and what they've learned. In some schools upper grades may use textbooks to supplement skills development, especially in math and grammar.
Learning in a Waldorf school is a noncompetitive activity. There are no grades given at the elementary level; the teacher writes a detailed evaluation of the child at the end of each school year.
The use of electronic media, particularly television, by young children is strongly discouraged in Waldorf schools.


What is the curriculum at a Waldorf school like?

The Waldorf curriculum is designed to be responsive to the various phases of a child's development. The relationship between student and teacher is, likewise, recognized to be both crucial and changing throughout the course of childhood and early adolescence.

The main subjects, such as history, language arts, science and mathematics are, as mentioned, taught in main lesson blocks of two to three hours per day, with each block lasting from three to five weeks.

The total Waldorf curriculum has been likened to an ascending spiral: subjects are revisited several times, but each new exposure affords greater depth and new insights into the subject at hand.

A typical Lower School curriculum would likely look something like the following:

Primary Grades 1 - 3

Pictorial introduction to the alphabet, writing, reading, spelling, poetry and drama.
Folk and fairy tales, fables, legends, Old Testament stories.
Numbers, basic mathematical processes of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.
Nature stories, house building and gardening.

Middle Grades 4 - 6

Writing, reading, spelling, grammar, poetry and drama.
Norse myths, history and stories of ancient civilizations.
Review of the four mathematical processes, fractions, percentages, and geometry.
Local and world geography, comparative zoology, botany and elementary physics.

Upper Grades 7 - 8

Creative writing, reading, spelling, grammar, poetry and drama.
Medieval history, Renaissance, world exploration, American history and biography.
Geography, physics, basic chemistry, astronomy, geology and physiology.
Special subjects also taught include:
Handwork: knitting, crochet, sewing, cross stitch, basic weaving, toy making and woodworking.
Music: singing, pentatonic flute, recorder, string instruments, wind, brass and percussion instruments.
Foreign Languages (varies by school): Spanish, French, Japanese and German.
Art: wet-on-wet water color painting, form drawing, beeswax and clay modeling, perspective drawing.
Movement: eurythmy, gymnastics, group games.

So there you have it! I am always happy to answer questions, so feel free to ask away.

My Journey.... Lets start from the beginning....

                                                            My Dad and I circa 1972


People are constantly telling me I need to write a book.... Which honestly seems so weird to me LOL. I really do not find my life all that exciting that people would want to read about it. But recently I have realized that many of the "events" in my life have brought me to where I am today. Today I am strong and HAPPY... Genuinely happy.  I remember what it was like to not be though. To constantly be trying to fill some void I had. To watch other people live their lives and wish I could just have a little of the happiness and peace they had... Well I had a major event in my life that flipped everything. And in that moment I decided that only I was responsible for my happiness. And I was going to find it ... or die trying.......

I hear a lot of " well you havent been through.... " or " you dont understand"..... Well, I am going to share some of my story and see if maybe you can relate. And at the end you will either think , damn! Her life is crappy, weird, crazy, etc... But whatever you think, I hope you find encouragement in it to take yours back from whatever it is thats stealing your joy .....


  Hmmmm where to start... Jumping ahead briefly. When I was 16 I took over 500 pills in a suicide attempt and ended up hospitalized. The therapist asked me what my first memory was... I will start there....

  I was about 3 years old. My Mom had married my step father when I was 2ish. My very first memory is her trying to leave him and them fighting over her taking my bed because " he bought it".  She ended up either staying or coming back ( which would be a scenario throughout my life ) because I had that bed until I was a teenager... The bed is significant in may ways. One because it involves my first memory, and two because it plays lots of parts in my life oddly.  You see I grew up in a "nice" home with two parents who abundantly provided for me... My Dad was around, and I saw him, but mostly on the down low since my step dad was incredibly jealous of him. I learned early on to not talk about him, and to never mention my Mom took me to visit him.. On the outside life was picture perfect. Nice home, clothes, toys, vacations. I held state pageant titles. I cut ribbons, and was in our local paper frequently.  But late at night, as most people slept, my home could turn into a house of horror.... I will not go into details out of respect for my siblings but I will tell you I lived with a man who's love of alcohol turned him into a monster... Some days I lived with the greatest step dad a girl could ask for, others I lived in absolute hell with Satan....  When I was 7, I got the cutest little brother ever... man I loved that kid. And I vowed to always protect him. That was pretty easy... You see while I was this darling daughter for many years, when a "their" child was born, that flipped. I became a target many times. But as long as my brother was protected that was okay with me... So I mentioned the bed... The bed was a beautiful white captains bed with huge drawers under it. When my parents would start fighting, I would sneak down the hall and get my brother. In one of the drawers I kept blankets. I would put him in there and push the drawer in enough to hide him and hope that he wouldn't be scared... Many times my Mom would yell for me to call 911 or to run and get someone.. I always felt better if I had to leave knowing that he was in there and safe....  So to sum this up.. I know domestic violence, alcoholism, and abuse.... I also know all about keeping secrets....

 I wish I could tell you know about some magical moment that this all stopped.... It never did. Even after my Mom passed away, I found myself still battling his abuse, even if it was just on the phone or in emails.. I finally put a stop to it and cut him out of my life when I was 35... Yes it took me that long into my adulthood to decide that I was worth more then he told me. That I wasn't the person that he made me believe I was all those years of my life....

 So lets talk about how I perceived myself all those years of my life... Pretty much as worthless. If my step father could say all these horrible things about me, and my Mom wouldn't protect me, then damn! I must be a really horrible person.... Do you know what happens to girls with no self esteem? Yep. They run into the arms of anyone that tells them something nice. They also self medicate.  Sometimes they even wind up on a stage with a pole in 6 inch heels....  So I also know, promiscuity, drug addiction, and working in the sex industry....


To be continued ....

   

Welcome!

 Hi! ( waving )

I am super excited you are here!

I decided that 2018 is the year I finally organize my thoughts all in one place,

so here I am! 

I will have a post daily on that days topic. The daily topics will be...

Monday: Motivation 

Tuesday: Trauma Stuff 

Wednesday: Waldorf Education

Thursday: Therapeutic Skills

Friday: Fun / Freebies / Giveaways 

Saturday: Adventure 

Sunday: Thoughts on the Sabbath 

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